The title to this blog has nothing to do with anything,I’ve just always wanted to start a blog with that title. Anyway my best friend is here, in Philly, from Chicago. She’s only been here for 3 days (she leaves on Monday) and so much debauchery has already taken place. ( If you don’t know what that word means look it up). Gotta love a friend who will say at dinner, ” if I ever met Jill Scott I would ask her if I can touch her knockers. I mean I would ask first of course & then I would tell her I love her music”. Everyone should have a friend like that. 

But this post ain’t about her either.

This is about……………………………………………………………………………Celibacy.

I have been practicing celibacy for a little while now. Most people gawk at this word & also my choice to practice it. There are times when I my self question my decision, but then I’m reminded of why I decided to become apart of the “no sex until I’m married club”, and I’m cool. Yes, I did say until I’m married. (Im gonna try damn hard for this to be my truth.) 

Sex is good. Great even. On a bad day, I’m convinced a good orgasm can make life worth living & everything right in the world. Shoot, it even cures headaches lol!

But for the most part sex, especially if your not in a relationship with your partner, makes everything complicated, at least it has in my world. Good sex can convince you that your in love and have you doing shit you said you never would ( in and out of bed). At one point I thought I could handle casual sex: B I G fail. That’s not my thing. (If I’m honest, I just became obsessed with the idea of having a lover).I can not experience the most intimate thing in life, without some emotional attachment. I once read somewhere that sex without love is just violence. That’s a little much, but there is a tad bit of truth in it. 

My choice to practice celibacy came because ultimately I want to be pleasing to God. There is no feeling like getting it in on Saturday night, then trying to worship on Sunday morning. Maybe for some folks this is easy, but conviction would hit me like a ton of bricks as soon as I hit the door. That’s never a good feeling & “fraud-ing” ain’t ever been my speciality. 

Although celibacy seems like such a foreign idea to most, I actually have a lot of friends who also practice celibacy, for many different reasons. But the fact that I’m attempting to hold on until marriage is what usually causes eyebrows to raise. Maybe if I was in a relationship this notion wouldn’t seem to crazy, but the fact that I’m single is what causes most folks to ask, “well what if you never get married?” I usually respond by saying “ohh no. I’m getting married, my God would not do that to me!”  But shoot, late at night (when all the world is dreaming) I’m up and I’m talking to God like ” yo Jesus, pleaaaase don’t do this to me!” But in my heart of hearts I know that Christ honors my sacrifice to attempt to live like he purposed. 

But celibacy is H A M, as you can imagine. I swear sometimes I have to turn off the TV. And I cannot listen to Jill Scott the way I used to cause Jill will take me there…..*deep sigh* I’ve literally stopped my roommate in the hall and said “pray for me right now, im feeling lusty.” 

I refuse to give in though, because nine times out of ten…it wont even be worth it.

Keep me in y’all prayers :))

dream hampton (via dreamhampton1)

this something my niece would reblog.

(Source: icanread)

(Source: icanread)

d’angelo. may 2012

Hahahaha!

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So last night my friend and I were sitting up, bored and trying to fight our sleep. The television was on BET where “Boyz In The Hood” was playing. It was the scene where young Trey is standing around talking to his friends right after his mother drops him off to live with his daddy,Furious My girl looks over at me and says.”wait, which one of them grows up to be Ice Cube?”. I pause before I answer and give her my famous side-eye. “The little chunky one” I say, still side-eyeing her.”

Me: “Have you never seen this movie?”

Her: laughs, “I don’t think I’ve seen the whole thing.”

Me: still side-eyeing, “It’s imperative that we have a black cinema movie night before you move out of here.”

I mean come on! There are just some movies that as black folks we just know! We’ve all seen them and can quote them like scripture or the lyrics to our favorite songs. All it takes is for one person to say a line from certain movies in a group of black people and a whole scene will be reenacted. (This goes for television shows as well, I have one liners from “Martin” for days). So here I have complied a list of movies that all of us have seen and can quote like we were co-starring. If you aint seen ‘em, you better use that 1 month free subscription from Netflix and get in the know!

The Color Purple

This is the first movie I remember watching with my family. I don’t think there’s a day that goes by that my sister doesn’t quote Miss Sophia!

What’s Love Got To Do With It

“Eat the cake Anna Mae!”. Enough said.

Friday

When I was junior high school this movie created a whole new word. “Debo”~ to steal.

Coming To America

I will give props to my girl on this one, she can quote this movie better than me. “Because the greatest!!” 

Harlem Nights

I didnt even know what the plot to this movie was for the longest time. All I knew was “OOH so now you gonna shoot me in my pinky toe”. Vera is clearly my favorite character.

Crooklyn

This is my favorite Spike Lee joint by far. I think I YouTube the scene with “Queenie” at least once a week. Plus the soundtrack to this jawn is a soul music lovers dream.

Boyz In The Hood

This movie is deep. A black classic in every since of the word. I swoon for Lawrence Fishbourne as “Furious”.

Love Jones

Okay. So this movie is for a certain type of folk. I don’t expect everyone to love it, but my respect for you runs a little deeper for you if you recognize when I’m quoting from it.

Poetic Justice

Who didn’t love seeing Janet act like their favorite around the way girl?! And Tupac? *swoons*. The plus for me is all the Maya Angelou poetry recited throughout. [Y’all know thats my grandmother in my head]

Baby Boy

“Baby Boy” to my generation is what “ATL” is to my nieces generation. Me and my girl Toya used to watch this movie all day. Literally. It would end and we would just press rewind and watch it all over again. As an adult, I see all the ratchedness of this flick, but I’ll still stop and watch whenever BET plays it.

this just made me fall in love with Mrs. Carter even more :)

(Source: dreamhampton1)

This morning on my way to work I had my ipod in my ear,tuning out the world. I was searching my albums trying to decide what kind of mood I was in. I finally settled on Aretha. Yes, its an Aretha kind of morning. But to dismay I only had two Aretha songs to select from. I had forgotten that I had deleted it all to make room for something else. Nevertheless, I press play and “It Hurts Like Hell” from the Waiting to Exhale soundtrack begins to play. I love this song. I think this song is the reason I became a Re Re fan. (That was until I heard “Rock Steady”.) Have y’all ever listened to the words to this song? 

“Sometimes it hurts to love so bad/(When you know what it can put you through)/Sometimes it hurts to even laugh/(There’s nothing funny if it’s killing you)/Sometimes the pain is just too much/And it hurts like hell, that’s the way it feels”

If that ain’t some of the realest shit ever, I don’t know what it is.

So I’m at work, eating my breakfast, listening to this song and I thought to myself, “I’m finally over him. I’m okay with him being just a memory.” For a long time I was holding on to my ex. Hoping that because we shared such a strong connection in the past, that we could still be friends. Maybe not BFF’s, maybe not even the type to talk once a week, but at least the type that could get together for dinner once a month.  I guess this is why I would send a text every so often inviting him to dinner, a movie, or something. Or I would find myself dialing those all to familiar numbers just to chat and find out what’s going on in his life. But those attempts are futile. Whenever we do talk or get together there’s this awkwardness between us. I always hang up the phone or get on the subway wondering why I’m still holding on, because clearly whatever we had, friendship included, is over. So today, I decided that if I never get another phone call or text from him,its all good. I’ll be okay and it just might be for the best. 

(Source: kywrites)

word.

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